Samstag, 20. Juni 2015

Are you happy?

Hello my dear girls,

today I just want to ask you a question:

Are you happy?

I'm really not the philosopical type but that question is
one that kept in my mind for a pretty long time.

A year ago or so I read the book of Esther Earl,
a girl who died of cancer and who was the reference
for John Green's main character in 'The Fault in Our Stars',
Hazel Grace Lanchester.

She wrote a beautiful quote back when:

Just be happy, and if you can't be happy,
do things that make you happy.
Or do nothing with the people
that make you happy

Hm... don't you think so?

It really is something that we should consider.

We often struggle with education, our job, our friends and false friends,
with relationships which aren't any anymore and so much more.

Our world is full of chances and wonderful possibilities,
but that is also the problem why we just can't decide.
Why we don't know what's wrong or right.

Remember the day when you graduated from
school/college or think of the day you will...

What is your greatest aim?
What is your greatest fear?

Do you already know what you want to become?
Or are you feeling insecure about it?
Doesn't it matter to you?
Whatever you choose is fine?

And is it really decided by yourself?

There are a lot of decisions which aren't made by ourselves.
Even the ones we think we had decided by ourselves.
Please, ask yourself - the real essential ones:
Did you only think of the things YOU want?
Really, don't consider family, partners, friends or the world.

Don't get me wrong.
It's important to consider other people's feelings and thoughts.
It's not good being totally selfish but there are some essential things
in life only you can decide for yourself!

Do you want to live happy?

If so - look around you.
Take notice of all the tiny things in life which will make you happy.
The tiny things which can entchant you.

Take a deep breath.

Think for yourself::

What is it you really wish for?

And the next one is:
How can you go for it?

It's not about money or being mighty.
It's not about being lucky or talented.

Of course it's easier with some "basics" but that doesn't mean
that you can't accomplish your goal.

You may have to struggle harder.
That's possible.
But isn't it worth for?

For being happy?

You're still suspicious?
Saying "Well yes, but as for me..." ?

Let's see... Let's talk about my hardships, aims and
why I'm feeling happy right now.

♥   ♥   ♥

I'm happy. Not absolutely satisfied.
I never will because I'm not that kind of person.
But I'm much more happy and satisfied than ever.

I said Goodbye to the stuff that dragged me down.
Said goodbye to people, to my job, to current situations.

I restart.

It's not something I like since I like steady, well-going things

but it was necessary.

In my life I already restarted three times.

In my mind I restarted more often.
Saying Goodbye to people is a hard task if they meant something to you.
Saying Goodbye to your job is even harder because it's some stability you leave.
Saying Goodbye to your current life and thoughts about life means that you have to recreate yourself.

Was I scared?

Hell yeah!
So often, that I can't count it.
I was pretty scared.

I often cried, I often felt left out and drawn to the sea.
I really felt the misery of life.
With my body, with my heart, with my soul.

These are times I will never forget because they hurt me
and let me become so vulnerable that I couldn't work on some days.

Since this year's January up until now I've been rehabilitating.
From a lot of things.

But most of all to become myself again.

It is a fight that wasn't the easiest.
It is a fight that still isn't easy.

And for once I really had the scary thought
"I'm sick of life."
Because it was so hard.

And now?

I'm happy.

I'm feeling good.

♥   ♥   ♥

All these hardships showed me the small things in life
that we ignore from time to time.
Just being happy in nature, lying under the sun, relaxing.
Isolate yourself from time to time so that you just can get to know yourself  better.

It's okay.

It's definitely okay to be like that.
To be yourself.
To be what you want to be.
It's your life.
It's you who can make you happy.